The Big C
by oOoXTheLikelySuspectXoOo
Summary: When Aria gets cancer, the Fitz family goes through some struggles.
1. The Big C

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I stared back at Doctor Monroe with eyes that didn't scream fear. They weren't hate filled . . . not even close to distraught . . . just numb. My voice didn't even sound like mine when I soullessly breathed, "Cancer?" I didn't even feel Ezra's hand as it tighten over mine.

He nodded solemnly, "Stage three lymphoma, Mrs. Fitz. I can't express deeply enough how sorry I am." I nodded slowly. I knew he meant it. Dr. Monroe had delivered me for Christ's sake, he was family. He delivered Violet, Ezra and I's daughter, too. Violet. It wasn't till I pictured her, sitting up to her art table, sketching passionately yet only being three years old that tears sprang to my eyes. I crumpled into Ezra, letting sob after sob rip from my throat. "I just want to go home." I sighed to Dr. Monroe. "We can set up another appointment, discuss treatment, whatever . . . I just want to be home with my daughter right now, please."

He nodded and Ezra all but carried me to our car. I spared a glance at his face, and it shook me just how much he had aged before my eyes in the past hour. "I'm sorry . . ." I sighed shakily.

"What?" he asked me, both confused and disgusted.

I shook my head, taking a sharp breath to stop tears from spilling, "In our vows . . . I promised you a long and happy life with me. I'm sorry that it won't happen."

"Aria stop!" his voice boomed, making me crumple back slightly. He clenched the steering wheel, looking straight ahead. I barely made out him whisper to himself, "I just can't lose you."

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Violet screeched, running full speed at me as soon as we stepped inside the door.

"Hi, my beautiful girl." I bent down, brushing her thick black locks behind her ears. "Where's Gigi and Bahba?" I smiled down at her. Gigi was Ella and Bahba was Byron, they were just easier for Violet to say. Ezra shut the door behind me, putting out coats in the large seat we had adjacent to the front door.

"Vi, why don't you go draw a picture for mommy?" Her blue eyes shone at the idea of an assignment and she ran off quickly, her curls bouncing behind her. I let out a shaky breath, allowing Ezra to take my hand as we walked to the Den. One of the many pictures along the way was mine and Ezra's wedding picture. In retrospect, it wasn't that long ago. Literally five years. I was only twenty three now and he was twenty eight. I could still remember the day we came 'out'. God it was like it had happened yesterday.

_**Six years earlier**_

I glanced at Ella's handmade cookoo clock, my palms as sweaty as Ezra's tumbler of scotch. I'd always hated that clock. When I was little I was convinced the small, screeching bird was possessed by the Icelandic bird-demon Fjord McFlurstenhurgen. Byron and Ella squinted at each other. Ella spoke first, "Not that it isn't lovely to see you, Ezra, but why _are _you here?"

I held Ezra's hand under the table. "We wanted to talk to you guys about something."

Byron rose his eyebrow, "'We' as in you both . . . together." His gray eyes crinkled, not particularly excited his seventeen year old daughter was holding her former English teacher's hand.

"Yeah . . ." I smiled over at him. He smiled, too. But he looked like he was going to throw up. "Ezra and I are in love."

"What!" Ella cried. "He's your teacher!"

"Was my teacher!" I corrected. "We started dating after he switched to Hollis and . . . well."

"You're pregnant aren't you!" Byron boomed, flinging his chair backwards.

"What!" Ezra and I asked in unison. I stood up quickly rushing to my dad's side. "No, daddy, I promise! Please sit down?" I eased him down into his seat but remained standing. "We all know how I'm going to Columbia in the fall? Well Ezra is going with me and we are moving into an apartment in the lower east side. We just figured it would be much more responsible and mature to include you in this."

Several moments passed before Byron took Ella's hand. "You two _really _love each other?" we both nodded and he turned to Ezra. "And you're going to take care of my girl?" Ezra smiled, "Absolutely."

Byron nodded, "Well you will be eighteen in three months . . . and it was very considerate of you to inform us versus going off on your own. And we love you so we'll support you."

I let out a girlish squeak, hugging Byron and Ella close before squeezing Ezra's side, deciding to spare my parents watching their kid kiss their friend.

_**Present**_

Ella and Byron were cuddled in the loveseat in front of the big screen T.V.

"Mom . . . Dad . . .?" I let out a petrified squeak. They both turned around.

"Sweetie? What's wrong?" Ella rose to her feet and I could tell she knew from my eyes. Something was wrong, indeed. Very, very wrong.

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	2. I Can't Tell You Why

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I sat next to Ezra in front of Ella and Byron. Déjà vu, much? I glanced over, noticing Violet scribbling onto a large sheet of paper – oblivious to the tense atmosphere 3 feet over. It had been three weeks since we found out I had cancer. I looked over at Ezra, his face, though still beautiful, was ramped with lines and I could see several gray hairs sprouting in his thick crop of black hair. Today we would be discussing treatment methods. I told Ezra I wanted to go in alone, and I did when my name was called.

"Please, Jim, just tell me straight. Is treatment really going to help me that much?" I pleaded with Dr. Monroe.

He looked down. "Chemo therapy and Radiation can only help you so much at this point. If everything goes perfect it will give you 3, 5 months tops. But by then you'll be so far gone. Your odds of going into remission in any case are . . . well close to nonexistence."

I let out a long breath I didn't know I'd held in. "So how long do I have?"

"Well we can never be sure but my guess would be anywhere from 8 months to a year. You have enough time to make arrangements. How is your family holding up?" Dr. Monroe asked. I could tell this was hard for him, too.

"Alright . . ." I shrugged, "Trying to hold it together for me. Violet doesn't know yet. I don't know if we will tell her. It won't make the pill any easier to swallow. And, honestly I don't know if I want Ezra to know that I'm declining treatment."

Dr. Monroe nodded, "So treatment is a no go?" I smiled sadly at Dr. Monroe and nodded. He shook his head, "Well then it's all squared out. Aria I'm very sorry for all of this."

"Shit happens." I stated before bursting into giggles that lead to a sharp sob. Jim held my shoulders and let me muddy up his white jacket before I pulled off and collected myself. I left the office, walking directly into Ezra's arms.

"What did the doctor say?" He looked hopeful. Oh god it broke my heart. I glanced at my parents. I couldn't get the words out. I just shook my head. Ella's red eyes swelled harder as she buried her face in my dad's tattered jacket. Ezra's face had drained of emotion. And Violet, my Violet, looked up at me with big round eyes that – in a way – were fully aware of what this meant. But she just looked down and continued scribbling.

_**Ezra's POV**_

Why did it have to be her. I couldn't believe in a god that would be so cruel to give me the love of my life just to rip her away from me. It wasn't fair. IT WASN'T FAIR, GOD DAMN IT! After all we'd been through, after we'd made it so far. For THIS to happen? I let my arms fall from her. I could see the confusion and hurt in her eyes but I couldn't be in her presences right now. "I'll be right back." I choked out. I turned the hall then sprinted to the smoking area, thankful no one was there. I couldn't contain it anymore. I let the bloody, painful scream wretch from my throat. I screamed obscenities at the sky, but no matter how much I yelled and screamed I couldn't get it all out. I placed my hands on either side of my head, falling to the ground. How could Aria leave me, leave Violet? It was ridiculous but somewhere in me I felt anger towards Aria. Anger! For absolutely no reason. I'm going crazy. I felt a small, familiar hand on my back.

"Ezra?" She croaked, her voice thick with unshed tears. "We have to go now . . ."

I turned slightly, "Aria, go home with Byron, Ella and Violet. I need a minute okay?"

"We drove in one car, Ezra. And I know this is-" I turned quickly grabbing her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"ARIA! The love of my life is DYING! Can you give me a _fucking_ minute?" Her eyes were wide and broken. She ripped her hand from between mine.

"But I'm the one dying, Asshole." She spat. I felt like shit. "So take some time, but if you don't mind I'm going to spend as much time as I have left with our daughter." I opened my mouth to speak but she quickly walked off. I waited for a minute, seeing the car drive onto the highway before going back into the hospital, eventually finding a mini chapel reserved for grieving family members. I shifted onto my knees, gazing up at the Virgin Mary statuette.

I just kneeled, for hours, contemplating what was happening. About how I was guaranteed to lose the only person I wanted to grow old with before we even had a chance. How my daughter would go through the most important moments of her life, sans her mother. I heard the heavy wooden door creak open as a small family shuffled in. I stood up to leave, my legs asleep and wobbly, and found my way to the closest bus stop.

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